Being With Grief: BE Gentle, Kind, Loving to Yourself

“Be gentle, kind, and loving to yourself.”

Today I was consumed with a nagging, solar-plexus-tightening, heart-aching sensation.  As I observed myself attempting to push aside these uncomfortable feelings, I was very aware of a critical inner voice saying, “Snap out of it! What is your problem?”  I witnessed a familiar struggle between thoughts and emotions and I was irritated because I just wanted to get on with what I had in mind to do for the day.  This inner conflict was draining my energy and stealing my joy.

I decided to “Stop.  Look Within.  Listen.”  It dawned on me that tomorrow is the 33^rd anniversary of mom’s passing.  Geez, no wonder I was consumed with grief.

I noticed my breathing was shallow and seemed stuck as it churned in my chest.  There was extreme tightness in my upper back.  So, I simply sat with that and breathed.  My heart filled with compassion for myself, the teenager that lost her mother.  I let myself “be” as various images of me with my mother and images of me living most of my life without my mother passed through my mind’s eye.  I continued to sit and breathe. I felt myself consoling myself and I felt myself consoling my mom.  A gentle, loving calm washed over me; the breath flowed more easily; and, my heart and upper back softened. 

I gave myself space to acknowledge, honor, and accept “What Was” and “What Is.”  In that, there is great love and serenity.  I invite you to be gentle, kind and loving to yourself too. 

Humbly sharing my experience,

Michelle Giambra

October 5, 2015

(If you are despartely struggling with grief, please seek out a grief support group and/or professional counselor to assist you.  The personal experience shared and Jin Shin Jyutsu^® information in this article is intended to complement, not replace, the advice of your own physician or other healthcare professional, whom you should always consult about your individual needs and any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.)